A Poem to Kevin Bacon

Dear Kevin Bacon
My heart is for the takin'
Words cannot express you
But yet, they equal morning dew
I remember Footloose and all those joys
Where you danced around for all those boys
Man Mr. Bacon you surely suck
I wish you only the best of luck
You're old as turd spice
And you stink on ice
Shit, Kevin Bacon
Shit...

Album of the Day: Mad Blunted Jazz

Dj Cam (AKA Laurent Daumail) is a DJ out of France born in 1973. He's been around for a while, since 1994, with his debut album Underground Vibes.  He incorporates many jazz samples with abstract manner, which I find very smooth and it distributes a fresh sound. Mad Blunted Jazz is just as good and if you ever have the urge to listen to it, I highly recommend it. 

Sun Ra in Space is the Place

If any of you haven't seen Space is the Place, 1972 you should. It tells the story of Sonny Ray (Sun Ra AKA Herman Poole Blount, Le Sony'r Ra), who was lost ever since his 1969 European tour. When he leaves for another planet he decides that many African-Americans should inhabit the place as well. They're means of travel: music. How awesome is that!?
After his space ship leaves for the new planet, Earth is destroyed as we know it. Down below is a little snippet of this spectacle.

Ten Reasons Why McDonalds Sucks

1. Their food tastes really bad
2. The food gives ya'll diarrhea
3. They put instructions on the machinery for people who can't speak English, which causes tons of injuries a year.
4. They don't have that rule anymore that gives you free stuff if they don't make your food blazingly fast.
5. The bathrooms always have fecal matter on the floors.
6. They use human meat instead of animal meat (Has become trendy since Y2K)
7. They have free Wi-Fi which only allows you to search their website.
8. In more than 27 billion locations world wide, 45% of their workers are real robots.
9. They changed the Big Mac, from 20 spoons of mayonnaise to 45 spoons of mayonnaise.
10. They created a video game which no one played.

To the left you can see Willard Scott dressed to kill in that amazing costume designed by Dumpy & Guffana.

FROM CHICKEN TO BEEF:  40 SOMETHING YEARS LATER

To the right you can see Carrot Top as the new 2010 mascot of McDonalds. When asked if he would do it, he said "My hair is pretty much considered red! Oh, hells bells I'll do it! GO BEEF!"
McDonalds Chairman & CEO James A. Skinner said in an interview that the idea behind the premises, was to get children to stay in shape and promote health within.
When he was asked to come up with a new look for Carrot McTop
he said "ahhhhh forget it, I'll just paint the stuff on for a more natural look." Skinner abides.
Behind the scenes, however, was a different story in which Skinner had a hundred children locked in his basement eating what he called "Big Mucks" a 20 thousand calorie burger which consisted of lard, schlurp, glurp and...muck.




Other runners up were John Candy, but were outed almost right away because of the growing concern of obesity in the United States: 







"I like my burgers deep fried and shat on!"
                                    -John Candy Uncle Buck 1989
                                              

100% Angus Beef

Chester McCheese sat there staring at his burger with such intent to eat it. He was hungry, but he noticed his patty was neon pink, his lettuce was blue and his buns were green.
"What in the worlds carnation is a happenin' here" he said with his large southern drawl. He was in awe. Struck as if he had seen a communist eating pastries in a nice conservative Texas park!
He took his burger up to the woman at the counter. She looked as if she really hated her job. She did work at McDonalds, however.
Under the luminescence of light that was gazing upon her cheek a homogenized smile crept out and she spoke: "Glerbin amon lobbin McCheese!"
He nearly flipped his gizzards and wet his pants with surprise.
"What has gotten' into you people?" He said
She looked at him as if he had it figured out. As if he had known this whole time what McDonalds was up to.
"I mean is evry'thang awlright?" She said nervously.
"Oh you had me scared sacred there uhhh Rebecca." He said looking at her name tag curiously.
"Sorry 'bout that McCheese. You'll have to excuse my queer mannas."
Then all of the sudden she looked at him and smiled a bone chilling smile that made him ache with antagonizing disinterest.
"Hey, why you actin' funny?" McCheese said sweating a bit.
"You have been chosen!" She said flapping her arms up and down. She then started to speak in tongues and she grew a red afro and her clothes changed from red to white with thick yellow monstrosities of stripes and her feet grew to a size thirteen in a red clown shoe.
Chester ran screaming almost losing his spectacles which were caught on the brow of his large gut.
But it was too late....

As he tried run out of the store the doors locked and turned red.
He turned around and there she was white make-up and all.
"100% angus beef! 100% angus beef!" she said as she grabbed his arm.
"Let gaw of meh neow!" he said violently, which made her or it, more displeased.
"100% ANGUS BEEF!" She said louder and louder.
Finally, Chester passed out and fell into the clowns barring arms.
She looked around to see if anyone was left in the eating quarters and when all was safe her mouth opened wide and inside was a meat grinder.
"Globin trobbin McThrobbin'" She said with her arms wiggling in the air wildly. And just as fast as he got his neon food, she ate him grinding him into 100% angus beef.

Cameron Caceres

I'm not a man of a thousand words, but uhh.....

The Art of Faile: Deluxx Fluxx Arcade

FAILE is a collective of two guys, Patrick McNeil and Patrick Miller that started in 1999. Their collaborations of mixed media, wheat pasting and usage of wooden boxes and prayer wheels can be seen all over the world and their recent show with BAST an artist based in New York, entitled Deluxx Fluxx Arcade was pretty freakin' tight.

You could check out the whole enchilada plus works by Bast at these two sites:
faile.net
bastny.com